Dancing at Daybreak Read online

  He’d given the store-wrapped box to the little boy before they’d left for the park, because who wanted to pack extra stuff around? Buddy’d been excited about the toy cars and racetrack set and whined about leaving it home for a few hours. No wonder he and his sister were standing at the car, waiting for the rest of the family. Not that they were one.

  Dan squeezed Dixie’s fingers. “Of course. It’s his birthday.”

  This time he let her pull away, and she shoved her hands in her jeans pockets. “You’re not even his father.”

  Back to that tired old argument? “He’s my son’s brother, and that’s close enough for me.”

  She rolled her eyes and popped the locks on the car. Buddy scrambled in, and Dan swung Henry into his seat in the middle and clipped his harness. By the time Dan backed out to allow Mandy access, Dixie had settled into the driver’s seat. Well, it was her car, but she’d let him drive on the way to the park. Now she was proving she was still the boss of herself.

  Like he’d been under any illusions.

  Dan slid into the passenger seat without commenting. It wouldn’t do any good, anyway.

  Dad’s words rampaged through Dan’s head. Dad never lost an opportunity to remind him what a loser Dixie was and how stupid Dan was to be taking care of her kids. Enabling her, Dad called it. Imagine what would happen if Dan told his parents he actually loved Dixie. The explosion would blast the roof right off their house.

  But the question was, did he love her? And if he did, why? Yeah, he’d thought they had a good thing going. That she’d only been promiscuous because she hadn’t met the right guy yet. Obviously, he was that guy. He’d tame her wild ways and they’d get married and live happily ever after.

  Even after he’d put his trust in Jesus a few months ago, he’d thought it would only be a matter of time, but his father was right. Dan was stupid. Dixie was never going to come around.

  “Daddy, can I—”

  “He’s not your daddy!” Dixie exploded from the driver’s seat. The car even swerved a little at her vehemence.

  “Da-Danny, can I play cars at home?”

  “Of course, you can, Buddy. That racing set belongs to you. You can play it anytime.”

  “No, he can’t.” Dixie shot Dan a glare.

  He raised his eyebrows in her direction.

  “I went along with your thing in the park, but now I’m taking the kids to my mom’s. She’s his grandmother, you know, and it’s only fair she gets to see him on his birthday.”

  No point reminding Dixie the boy’s birthday had been Friday, and she’d had him all day while Dan was at work. No point reminding her that Eunice didn’t have a grandmotherly bone in her body. He couldn’t use reason when she got like this.

  “But I want to play cars, Mama!”

  “Later, Buddy. We’re going to drop Dan off at the house.”

  A few minutes later, he stood in his driveway and waved to the kids with a smile. It wouldn’t do for them to sense his fear that he might never see them again.

  “Hey, Dan.”

  He glanced over to see Jacob raking leaves in the front yard next door. “Hi, Jacob. I didn’t know you were back from Africa.”

  “Got back yesterday, and I’m trying to get my body back in this time zone as well as autumn instead of spring. Tricky stuff.”

  Sounded believable. Dan hadn’t ever been anywhere to know for sure. Well, Montana, but one time zone barely counted.

  “You been going to the prayer breakfast while I was away?”

  Dan nodded. “Yeah. Weird, though. I don’t really fit in.”

  “Oh? How’s that?”

  “Most of the guys are married.”

  Jacob studied him. “Some aren’t. Alex. Peter.”

  “Peter’s going to pop the question to Sadie any day now.”

  “True... but why does it matter?”

  Dan took off his baseball cap and shoved his hand through his hair. Haircut time again. “It just does. We don’t have much in common. My life is... complicated.”

  “Everybody’s got something.”

  “Which one of those men has anything half as weird going on as I do?”

  Jacob grinned. “You’ve got a doozie, that’s for sure. But it seems to me like you’ve chosen to stay in it.”

  “Not following.”

  “Like you said, you’re not married to her. You haven’t made any vows, and her kids aren’t your responsibility, other than the little guy. Wouldn’t it be easier—?”

  “Are you saying I should just walk away?” Dan narrowed his eyes. “That doesn’t sound like you.”

  “Have you considered that you’re enabling her to keep living this way?”

  “Now you sound like my dad.”

  “He’s got to be right some of the time.” Jacob leaned on the rake. “I know it sounds harsh, but maybe what she needs is to be cut loose.”

  “I’m not going to lie and say this is easy. It’s not. But isn’t sticking around the right thing to do? She’s the mother of my son. I have to make it work somehow.” How could he show his face around the community, around the church, if he pushed Dixie away? Who would look after the kids? Wait. She’d take them. He wouldn’t have to find a sitter. He’d be free like a single guy, like he’d been when he met Dixie three years ago. She already had Mandy and Buddy when he moved in with her.

  A new fear shot ice through his veins. What if she got pregnant again, with some other man’s baby? She might do it just to spite Dan, like she’d been seeing Basil Santoro after Henry’s birth.

  “I can’t lose her, Jacob. I can’t.” But could he keep going like this?

  “There’s a story in the Bible that comes to mind. Been digging in the Old Testament much?”

  “Not a lot. My sister told me to read the gospels, and Pastor Tomas has been preaching out of Paul’s books lately.”

  “Okay, you know that the Jews were God’s chosen people, right? He made a covenant with them, but they kept wandering off to worship the gods of the nations around them. They just couldn’t seem to stick with the love of the One who’d set them apart.”

  Like Dixie couldn’t seem to be satisfied with Dan’s love. She was only angry that he wouldn’t sleep with her anymore.

  “During that time of history, God called a slew of prophets to preach to the people and tell them what they were doing was wrong and that they should repent and turn back to God. There’s a bunch of books between Psalms and the New Testament called the prophets. There’s some heavy going in those books — I’m not going to lie — but they show how much God tried to get their attention and love.”

  Dan didn’t want to put himself up there with God, but he kind of got it.

  “Hosea was one of those prophets. God told him to marry a prostitute named Gomer. Problem was, she wasn’t faithful to Hosea. She kept sleeping with other men, but God told Hosea to keep taking her back.”

  “Uh huh.” He wasn’t sure he liked where this was going. How close to home it struck.

  “God didn’t tell Hosea to do that because it was the smartest or even the best thing to do. He was making a point, demonstrating for all Israel to see how the situation was with God and His people. That even when they kept worshiping other deities, God still loved them and didn’t break His part of the covenant.”

  “That all seems to indicate I’m doing the right thing by sticking with Dixie.” If so, why wasn’t his heart lighter?

  “There are some differences. That was an object lesson for a particular time in history. To say nothing of the fact that God and the nation of Israel had made vows to one another.”

  Yeah, and Dan and Dixie hadn’t. He hadn’t given much thought to a wedding before he’d found faith in Jesus. In today’s society, especially in their circle of friends, no one cared.

  “Here’s the thing, Dan. Marriage is sacred. It really is. It’s not something anyone should do lightly. What good would it do those kids if you married their mother and then you got divorced a year or
so down the road?”

  Dan took a step back. “I’m not sure you realize what you’re saying here.”

  The sympathy on the other man’s face belied those words. “Have you prayed about it? I know you’re praying for Dixie’s salvation. We all are. But what if she never comes to faith in Jesus? What if it’s not God’s will for you to marry her? What then?”

  “How could it not be?”

  Jacob shook his head. “I can’t answer that. All I know is, Dixie’s salvation and your relationship with her are two separate things. One does not automatically lead to the other.”

  “That doesn’t even make sense, man.”

  “Two wrongs don’t make a right, Dan. They really don’t.”

  4

  “Hi!” Fran stood at the door, eyebrows raised. “I was expecting Dan.”

  Of course, she was. Dixie beckoned the woman in. “He had to work late. I’ll call Luca. The boys are upstairs.”

  Mandy bounded in from Fran’s car. “Mama, it is so fun!” She squeezed her arms around Dixie’s middle. “Tieri and me and some other kids are angels.”

  Dixie’s eyebrows shot up. “Dancing angels?”

  Fran laughed as she shut the door behind her, closing out the brisk November air. “School-age angels are busy little creatures who are certainly not into sitting on fluffy clouds playing harps.”

  “What’s a harp?” Mandy wanted to know.

  “It’s...” Fran paused. “A musical instrument with strings.”

  “Oh, a guitar.” The little girl nodded wisely.

  “Not exactly. I’ll show you a picture sometime.” Fran rubbed Mandy’s shoulder then turned back to Dixie. “So, yes, dancing angels. Dancing for the whole cast, actually, because why not?”

  “I thought the church thinks dancing is a terrible sin.” Only one of eighteen thousand reasons to avoid Christianity.

  Her friend chuckled, crinkle lines around her eyes proving laughter was a big part of her life. “At its core, dancing is moving one’s body to music. Some ways of dancing can lead to impure thoughts and actions, but it sure doesn’t have to. It can be a graceful expression of how much we love God, too. It can be a form of worship.”

  “Huh.” Could that be true? Worship didn’t sound nearly as much fun as dancing with a hot guy. Dan used to — Dixie blocked that train of thought. He was such a killjoy now, which somehow made him more attractive than ever. Who’d have guessed she’d be drawn to maturity and self-restraint? There was, apparently, a first for everything.

  Dixie turned to the staircase. “Luca! Your mom’s here.” She looked at Fran. “Is Tieri waiting in the car? Sorry I didn’t have Luca ready. I wasn’t sure what time you’d be here.”

  “She’ll be fine for a sec. Dan’s a few minutes late, and I’m a few minutes early, I guess.”

  “I’m so glad you’re here, Mama.” Mandy clung to Dixie’s arm. “I like dance at church on Tuesday, but I miss seeing you.”

  Dixie pulled the little girl closer. “I miss you, too.” Strangely, it was true. While Luca played well with Buddy and Henry, the last couple of Tuesdays had been strange without Mandy bounding in after school.

  “Stay, Mama,” whispered Mandy.

  “I can’t, baby.”

  Fran offered a sympathetic smile as the four-year-olds scooted down the carpeted stairs on their backsides, giggling the whole way. “You should come by and watch the practice next week. Just let me know not to drop Luca off. There’s the playroom at the church with lots for them to do. Henry, too.”

  “I’ll see.” Curiosity about dancing angels might lure her in, just once. “When’s the big show?”

  “The last Sunday before Christmas. The program starts at seven and there are treats and hot cocoa downstairs afterward. Everyone in Bridgeview comes. I know you’ll love it.”

  Right. As though Fran knew anything about Dixie. “Maybe.” It was still a month away. Anything could happen. Anything besides Dixie falling for all this Jesus stuff, although it was sometimes tempting to pretend just to get Dan off her back. But then he’d want to marry her, and there was just no way that could end well. No, Dixie was good at faking it for a good cause, but no one could sustain that kind of pretense indefinitely.

  “Into your jacket, Luca. Time to go. Daddy’s got supper ready.”

  A normal family where parents tag-teamed to take care of things. Dan wanted that. Why couldn’t she just relent and give it to him? Would marrying him be so bad?

  Luca dragged his feet as he came toward his mom, who held his jacket out for him. “I want to play with Buddy longer. Why doesn’t he ever come play at our house anymore?”

  Dixie gave a nervous laugh. All because she was doing her best to turn over a new leaf and be a responsible adult, which meant arriving to watch the boys before Dan left with Mandy.

  “Come for coffee one day soon!” Fran urged. “As friends.”

  “Maybe.” It was true the boys had fun together. It was true Dixie went crazy being house-bound. But Fran was so much older than her and so... churchy.

  “Hope you do. Drop in anytime.” Fran opened the door and nudged Luca toward it. “Thanks for coming, Mandy. You’re doing a great job.”

  Mandy beamed.

  Beyond Fran, Dan’s truck pulled up to the curb. Of course, Dixie’s and Fran’s cars blocked the driveway. He wouldn’t whine about it, though. He’d just move his truck later. Dixie watched him swing out of the cab, gather his lunchbox and thermos, and stride across the street.

  He was so tall and lean and, well, hot even in jeans and his dark green Ranta Landscaping hoodie and a ball cap that covered most of his slightly unruly dark blond hair. Every time she saw him, no matter how hard she tried to tune him out, her blood hummed. They’d been so good together before this religious kick.

  Dan opened Fran’s car door for her and mussed Luca’s hair while he chatted with Fran. But when he closed the car door and met Dixie’s gaze, his entire face altered. Softened. She could see his love even from twenty feet away.

  No.

  Religion was a party-pooper, remember? She wasn’t going to play Dan’s game. She’d made her own set of rules for her life and, if he wanted to be part of it, he’d follow them. She could out-wait him.

  Only, could she? It had been nearly six months already, and he showed no signs of giving up religion.

  Fran tapped her horn as she backed out onto the street then drove away. And Dan stood in front of Dixie, his blue eyes warmed by the grin on his face. “Hey, how was your day?”

  Dixie pushed away from the door jamb she’d been leaning on. “Okay. I’ll grab my stuff and be out of your hair.”

  Dan looked past her, but none of the kids charged at him for once. “Got a question for you.”

  She stiffened and wrapped her arms around her middle. “Oh?”

  “Would you come to my parents’ house with me for Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday? Linnea and Logan will be in town.”

  Dixie rolled her eyes. “Your parents hate me.”

  Dan shook his head. “Maybe Dad, but he hates everyone except my brother. Mom asked me to invite you.”

  “I find that hard to believe.”

  His grin widened. “Not lying.” He reached for her arm, but his hand dropped away before he touched her.

  What would happen if she just took one step forward and wrapped her arms around him? Sometimes she went crazy with want for him. He’d probably hold her for a minute then gently push her away. Maybe ask her to marry him... again. Dixie shivered, partly from cold. She couldn’t take the risk.

  “My mom...”

  “You could invite her, too.”

  “Right.” She snorted a laugh, the moment gone. “So we can all listen to her and your father yell and curse at each other? That would be a ton of fun for everyone, especially the kids.”

  “Okay, maybe not your mom.”

  “She’s going on a cruise with her latest boyfriend, anyway.”

  Dan’s gaze intensified. “So, you
’ll come? I’d hate to see you spend Thanksgiving alone. Or maybe I can tell my mom ‘no,’ and we can have a turkey here. I’ll get a chance or two to see my sister over the weekend, anyway.”

  He’d give all that up for her? Sure, he would. He was just that kind of nice guy. Besides, he might not mind skipping his dad’s bluster and his older brother’s rudeness. At least his mom had been nicer the past few times Dixie had seen her, and Linnea was always lovely.

  Dixie hadn’t seen Linnea or her husband, Logan, since early summer. And since when was she afraid of Dave Senior? She straightened. “Yeah, sure, I’ll come. Ask your mom what I can bring.”

  Had Dan heard correctly? “Great! Don’t worry about a thing. If Mom needs anything picked up, I’ll provide it. You can be a guest.”

  Dixie rolled her eyes then opened her mouth as though to comment, but Henry grabbed at her jeans. “Mamamama?” Dixie scooped the little guy up and gave him a nuzzle. He giggled.

  Whoa. Miracles never ceased. Even if that was just to get out of looking vulnerable, it was a win. “I can pick you up at two, if you like.”

  She set the toddler down. “I’ll meet you there. That way, if things get nasty, I can escape.”

  Dan could hardly blame her for that. Nearly anything could set Dad off, and his language turned the air blue with the slightest provocation. But a miracle had happened once last summer when Dad actually apologized to his son-in-law for his language. Always respectful, Logan still felt free to call Dad out on his bullying nature. Even Dave Junior toned it down a bit around Logan.

  Dixie reached for her coat, and Dan managed to snag it from the hanger before she did. He held it out as she slipped her arms into the sleeves. How his hands wanted to linger on her shoulders as he settled the faux fur collar in place.

  “Thanks.”

  He blinked. Thank You, Lord. Maybe there was hope after all.

  “Daddy!” yelled Mandy and, for once, Dixie didn’t contradict her. “I’m a dancing angel!”

  “Show me.” He managed to remove his hands from Dixie instead of gathering her close, and turned to the little girl.

  “Pretend there’s music, okay?”